December 11

I frittered the day away walking by the ocean at Cheung Chau, feeling shot, and progressing through the problems of life like a dull witless turtle.

I was going to attend both services, yet made a snap decsion that my illness required a longer day by the sea, and got a late ferry.

Dave, my helper, and Laura, my friend, both Christians, kept phoning me, to find out when I would get to the church.

radiating its holy energy from the church. Looking into the church, I saw people crushed right to the door, and boldly decided to plunge into the congregration, as I did not want be out in the cold.

I gave up and went to the food area, where people were watching a television show of the interior.

I draw the line at Church Modernization, and I also like real Latin in my songs, really old classical and traditional music that has stood the rest of time, and some subtleness in spirituality.

Nevertheless, I hovered about waiting for the end, then rushed in to get some seats for the next service, and saw Laura waving to me, to get seats closer to the front.

The service was outstanding, with the Chinese Reverend giving an eloquent talk on how we should honour the internal content of Christmas, not just its outer wrappings.

I had joked to Laura how I really felt about those who owed me huge sums of money, and what I really felt like doing about it, and that I was not feeling the Spirit of Christmas!

I also told her what I thought about the hideous Hong Kong University paper I am coerced into helping her with! A real test of feminine friendship!

We hugged each other and made room for David too, who was attending his first Christmas church service.

I had a great of of nostalgia for Canadian childhood and Canadian Christmas when we got to O Little Town of Bethlehem, a big hit with my childhood school teachers.

I felt the feeling that you feel knowing you may never go home again, and even if you ever did it will never be the same as you thought it would be.

Outside after the service we quickly grabbed as many delicious mincemeat pies as we could, with really crumbly church bazaar style pastry and I tried to do my volunteer duty, serving hot chocolate to dozens of visitors.

Peter, a warm and hospitable vicar? is that the right title, wearing a dark robe with clerical collar, spoke with me about the possibilities of confirmation.

I explained to him that I had never had this service, in the austere Protestant Church I was raised in.

Afterwards Laura and I broke away from the guys, knowing David was being taken care of some young men I had introudced him to as a Newbie, and walked up to the Star Ferery because I craved a Cafe de Coral Hong Kong coffee.

(It is not a mentally well woman writing this site! And this after the croissanteries of Montreal!)

I can't be like some of these ex-pats, I said, it is what I was born into, and raised in, and came out of, and it is of a value to me, and I can never deny it, or turn my back on it - and I know how my students miss China so much when they go away from her!

Laura and I talked again about our future dreams and ambitions, and I told her about the Chinese man who had just written an email to me, James Qiang, the handsome and brilliant telecummunications expert from Shenzhen, now stationed in Sri Lanka.

(James is not his real name, as he will clobber me if I use his real name, though I promised I would only write well of him.)

Laura is anxious to see his photograph, which I used to carry around in Canada, until I met Joe Wong.

I am more Chinese than that, I said, There is no point in asking for that One Up and One Down kind of help, I think it is patronizing and besides the only way out of my problems is to work harder, and do better.

I already have good friends, there are things I have to do myself, and I am just having such trouble turning it all around.

Living in a ugly room that costs twice as much as my beautiful homes in Montreal or China is not a psychological problem, nor is the crush in Admiralty Station at six at night.

Still, it was a beautiful night at The Chruch, we both agreed, and plan to do more Christmas activities.